Damn, I’m Good

Posted: December 31, 2010 in sports
Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

I feel like Sideswipe after he kills this Audi (except that would never happen in real life cause Audis kick ass.)

At the end he says “Damn, I’m good.”  That’s how I feel, because in the time of my blog’s short existence, I have already sniped a few (obvious as they may be) calls:

1. “As bad as the players looked on Sunday, what was even worse for the Jets is that Rex Ryan has been exposed.” –5 things I learned during week 14 of the NFL (minus the Ravens-Texans Monday night game)

Rex Ryan has now been exposed as a foot loving, game losing, swagger lacking, phony of a coach.  We probably should have known the Jets were going to lose to the bears though, because the Patriots obliterated Da Bears slightly less harshly than they obliterated the Jets.  Thus, Da Bears are slightly better than the Jets, which isn’t saying much.  Since the Patriots exposing Rex Ryan as not all that everyone hyped him to be, the Jets lost to the Dolphins at home, tried to trip a player, and Ryan’s foot obsession has surfaced.  Ouch.

2. “Aaron Rodgers left the game with a concussion and they lost.  He is almost as important to the Packer’s offense as Peyton Manning is to the Colts’ offense.” -5 things I learned during week 14 of the NFL (minus the Ravens-Texans Monday night game)

Since Rodgers’ noggin slammed into the field, the Packers lost to the atrocious Lions and the Patriots.  Ok, maybe a bad day against Detroit, and New England beats everybody, so its understandable that Green Bay lost twice, right?  Think his absence doesn’t mean that much?  Think again.  As soon as he came  back, he threw for 400 yds and 4 tds 0 int, crushing the Giants 45-17.  And this wasn’t just a beatdown of some crappy team like the Panthers or 49ers or the Carson Palmers.  This game held serious playoff implications: if NYG won they essentially had the wild card locked up.

Related:  Aaron Rodgers not making the Pro Bowl is complete and utter mumbojumbo phony baloney horse sh*t nonsense.  I can understand Vick, but Brees and Matty Ice making it over Rodgers?  It’s only half bull that Brees made it over Rodgers even though Easy Breesy has thrown like four picks a game.  But Matty Ice?  Rodger’s passer rating is 3rd in the league, Ryan’s is 15th.  Rodger’s yards per attempt is 2nd in the league at 8.3, Ryan’s is 27th at 6.4.  Rodgers has more yards and more touchdowns despite missing time.  So what’s the argument here for Matt Ryan?  That he is on a a 1 seed team?  Guess what, Rodgers is going to make the playoffs as well, and when the Falcons and Packers squared off the Pack only lost by three IN ATLANTA.  Even if all of this didn’t matter, Aaron Rodgers still should have made the Pro Bowl just by default of Aaron Rodgers being the f**king man.  I love saying his name if you haven’t noticed.  Just look at how cool Aaron Rodgers looks.  Aaron Rodgers is so godamn cool.  Aaron Rodgers!!!!

He looks like that guy that is secretly smarter than everyone and acts witty and says the funniest sh*t.

Sidenote relating to the Giants because I briefly talked about them and feel like I won’t have a chance of mentioning this until September 2012 if there is a lockout:  I heard the funniest joke from my friend Paul:

Why can’t Eli Manning play primetime games?

Because like his Citizen Eco Drive, he’s powered by light.

3. “a big date with the first-place Falcons in Atlanta (where Matty Ice Ryan is 18-1 in his career) looms just two weeks away.  The way they’re playing, the Saints definitely have the assets to win.  While I can afford to look two weeks ahead into week 16, New Orleans can’t.  They must focus on their big meeting with the defensively-proficient 8-4 (probably 9-4 after Monday Night’s game) Ravens next week” -5 things I learned during week 14 of the NFL (minus the Ravens-Texans Monday night game)

Wow!  How many birds did I kill with this stone?  I think my snipe/sentences written ratio based off this is an exceptional 1.00.  Ok, so the Ravens beating the Texans was a gimme.  But gimme credit for telling the Saint-haters that they could go into ATL and win.  And that they couldn’t afford to look to far ahead, because they did, and lost to the Ravens, and now their chances of a 1 seed are all but dead.

4. “The Colts said F U to everyone who thought the Jags were going to win the AFC South.  They said to all the doubters and  haterade sippers, “Did you really think the Indy Colts were going to miss the playoffs?  The PLAYoffs, you kiddin’ me?  Playoffs? Don’t  talk about [missing the] playoffs!”” -You know what looked really really really strange?

Well well, the Colts beat the Jags, then they beat the Raiders, while the Jags lose to the Redskins.  The Redskins.  Real Native Americans could play better than the Redskins.  And the Jags lost to them.  For everyone that thought the Colts would not win the AFC South, you’re a fool.

Sidenote:  the post I pulled the quote from was titled “You know what looked really really really strange?”  Well, you know what looked even more strange?

So smart for sliding.  So damn smart.  Winners.

5. “The Packers delivered this reminder at the perfect time.  BB and Tom Brady will practice the s**t out of the team this week, eager to storm into Buffalo and make burgers out of the Bills.”

I’m pretty sure I saw Rob Gronkowski eating some buffalo burger last week.  Nope, wait, I DEFINITELY did.

So there it is, my young blog’s ability to get it right.  Did I purposely look for things that I called right?  Yup.  Did I get things wrong (like the Chiefs being in for a ride down the stretch, cause they weren’t?)  Yup.  Were most of these topics blatantly obvious?  Yup.  Am I just trying to promote myself?  Yup.  Are you probably sitting there thinking “this dude thinks he sniped all this but so did everyone else?”  Yup.  But damn, I’m good.

EVERYONE HAVE A SAFE AND EXCITING NEW YEARS.  2010 WAS A GREAT YEAR FOR ME, I HOPE IT WAS FOR YOU TOO.  HAPPY 2011!

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