What a wild wildcard weekend

Posted: January 12, 2011 in sports
Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , ,

almost as wild as Ratatat…

So much to talk about… so naturally the Pats come first.

Why did the Colts have to lose?  Why?  I wanted the Pats to play them so badly in the AFC Championship game.  I’ve raved about it enough, but I still find it difficult to express how much I love watching the two most dominant franchises of the 2000’s square off on the gridiron.  Nothing beats it.  The only scenario in which the Pats playing the Colts could be matched would be any sort of competition between said matchup and Tom Brady’s hair, in which case the universe would implode and all that we know would go to smithereens.  But me sobbing over the Colts’ L isn’t going to fix anything, and the Jet’s are still checking into Foxboro for Sunday.

If the Colts had to lose to somebody in the playoffs, I would want that somebody to be the Jets.  Instead of playing the Ravens, the Patriots will enjoy their second bye week in a row when Mark Sanchez is sailing balls 10 feet above Braylon Butterfingers’ head.  Either way, the Jets’ trainwreck of an offense will put up squadoosh on the scoreboard.  And what’s even better about an easy opponent is the unjustified sh*ttalking that tags along with it.  Rex Ryan’s memory must be in terrible condition because he seems to have forgotten that barely a month ago this was his face:

I know, pretty priceless image right?  I can’t wait until the Pats blow them out of Sunday again, and Rex still thinks he’s gonna win a Super Bowl.  Gonna go something like, “We got our butts kicked today.  No denying that.  But we’re still going to win a Super Bowl.  We’re still the best team in the league.  The NFL says we’ve been eliminated from the playoffs, but I’m not scared.  I’m not afraid of anything.  We’ll be hoisting that Lombardi Trophy in a few weeks.  It’s personal.”  Can someone just stick a foot in Rex’s mouth at this point?

 

Next up: the Seattle Seaflukes.

I gotta give it to Matt Hasselbeck, only because he is from the same tiny MA town as me.  He played one hell of a game.  Props to him.  But as good of a performance as it was, I’m pretty sure everyone (including Pete Carroll and the Seahawks) knows the Saints go bird hunting and succeed nine times out of ten, which is why I hate playoff upsets.  Let’s be honest here, the Seahawks winning the Super Bowl is like the Lakers or Celtics not winning the NBA Finals; nobody gives a flying f*ck.  Maybe if Seattle finished 8-8 or better, they would be worthy of big rocks on rings.  Too bad they finished 7-9 and by dumb playoff seeding systems not only did they make the playoffs over the 10-6 G Men, they hosted the 11-5 Saints.  Utter BS.  Go home Seahawks.

Now I know, all y’all haterade sippers are probably saying, “Well Mr. Big Pats fan, the 2001 Patriots were pretty big underdogs too.  By your logic, wouldn’t it be better if the Rams won the Super Bowl, right?”  Wrong.  The 2001 Patriots finished 11-5, plenty worthy of Super status.  But the big difference here is that the 2001 Patriots were the beginning of the best football decade for any team.  Ever.  EVER!  I will name my first born Marshawn if the 2010 Seahawks are followed by three Lombardi Trophies, a perfect regular season, and on their way to a fourth Super Bowl.  Too bad they are a true fluke, and will in all likeliness miss the playoffs next year thanks to a rejuvenated Jim Harbaugh led 49ers or an Andrew Lucked out Cardinals team.

 

Finally:  AARON RODGERS!!!!

YEAHHHH!!!!  AARON RODGERS!!!! MY DAWG!!!!  Cooler than ice cold!!!!  You show those Eagles who’s boss around here, you prove once again that a conventional QB beats an oddball QB.  Righty QB’s that wear nice divisible numbers such as 12, 18, 9, and that sit in the pocket and deliver strike after strike always beat weird oddball lefty QB’s who wear prime numbers like 7 and run around using physical ability over intelligence.  The only bad part about this now is that somewhere down the road I have to root for Aaron Rodger’s opponent because I don’t want the Pats playing him in the Superbowl.  Did I mention Aaron Rodgers is now a movie star too?  AARON RODGERS!!!!

 

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