You know what I love about being a Boston sports fan?

Posted: February 17, 2011 in sports
Tags: , , ,

I don’t drool over 90 foot alley-oops like an idiot.

Sweet dude, D-Wade threw a 90 foot pass.  Sweet LeBron, you caught it and laid it in.  Then you proceeded to scurry back to the other side of the court like it was nothing and you’re focused on defense or something.  Quit the facade, we all know in your head you just had a huge orgasm.  Underreacting to a play often ups your douchebaggery level more than overreacting does.  Words of wisdom LeBron: if a 90 foot alley-oop against the Pacers is a season highlight for you, which it will be because we all know you’ll go home at the hands of the Celtics again, at least relish the moment and celebrate.  Flex your guns or something.  In the meantime, I’ll enjoy Boston’s ways of winning without unnecessary and overly dramatic plays.

Somehow, the team-player theme resonates through Boston teams, (goes to show how f*cking awesome and smart the city is,) and it results in W’s.  This year Tom Brady threw the most touchdowns and the Pats scored the most points.  Wait–is it too soon to talk about the Pats?  If you can’t endure it, just skip down a few lines.  Anyway, Tom Brady threw the most touchdowns, but I can’t replay more than a couple of them in my head.  Know why?  Because the vast majority of them were casual, well executed touchdowns.  I’ll take a sh*tload of perfectly thrown 7 yard touchdowns any day over a few 50 yard one-handed catch touchdown bombs that earn Sportscenter top 10 spots.  7 yards from a touchdown usually implies the Pats methodically dismantled a defense to get there, and a ball caught with two hands means Tom Brady threw a strike; one handed catches imply bad throws.  I don’t need a 90 yard Vick-Jackson touchdown to waste my pride on, I’ll take a 14-2 season instead (I’ll gut whoever mentions the Jets.)  Anyway, the Celtics operate with the same mentality, and guess what: we’re the best team in the east.  Besides the flash Rondo provides, the team has no need for excessive plays.  If we can find ways to easily lay the ball in, why waste energy on cross-court passes?  The results speak for themselves, we’re ahead of Miami.  I’ll cash in my teams’ highlight reels for wins all day erryday.

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