What’s the difference between the Heat and Celtics?

Posted: March 8, 2011 in sports
Tags: , ,

The Celtics only cry after winning NBA rings.


The Heat cried because they suck too much to:

1. make a game winning shot (they’re shooting 5% when trailing by 2 or fewer with less than 10 seconds left in the game)

2. win at least one game in their past four

3. man the fuck up after losing said four straight and hold back their tears


THEY CRIED?!?!  After four losses in a row… in the regular season?!  Seriously, are we talking about grown men here or a bunch of whiny four year old girls that dropped the top scoop of their three scoop ice cream?  Howbout instead of crying and pitying your own second tier basketball squad, you rally around the losses, accept them for what they are, and start balling better?  Charlie Sheen would definitely not consider this winning.  This would not be banging 7 gram rocks and finishing them all.  And how are they gonna react when they can’t win in the playoffs?  Their atrocious against teams with records of .500 or better will inevitably doom them when they have to play ONLY .500 teams or better (unless a sub-.500 team sneaks into the playoffs in the east, which will happen, because the NBA is kinda silly in that sense.)  Now the Heat are notorious for being a big bunch of pussies who lose because not a single ounce of clutch flows through their blood.  Hell, they’re the goddamn antithesis of clutch.  Don’t like the attention?  Too bad, cause Stan Van Gundy said it perfectly, (I know, who woulda ever thought he would say anything perfectly,) “My suggestion would be if you don’t want the scrutiny, you don’t hold a championship celebration before you’ve even practiced together.”

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