Posts Tagged ‘canucks’

Two and a Half Months

Posted: June 9, 2011 in sports
Tags: , , , ,

March 25 marks the last time I posted anything.  Somewhere between deciding that I don’t wanna take the communications path anymore, being sucked in by the in intrigue of wearing a suit to class and BU’s gorgeous School of Management, and my extreme laziness, I stopped writing.

BU’s School of Management.

I wrote the last post, about the grittiness of hockey, two and a half months ago.  That’s a considerable chunk of time right there.  Two and a half months can cover an entire summer.  It’s enough time to make several grand, or phase a trimester during pregnancy, or turn a puppy into a dog.  But nothing that takes two and a half months is exciting, raw, physical, or intense as the Stanley Cup playoffs.  And after last night’s pure domination by the American based Bruins over the Canadian based Canucks, I just had to write something.  I just have so many emotions!!!!

Vancouver’s team is stacked like pancakes.  So much talent not even a Space Bag could compress and contain it all.  The Canucks boast Sweden’s two best players, the identical Sedin twins (who happen to look identical to aliens as well,) America’s best skater in Ryan Kesler, and Canada’s best goalie (at least during the regular season anyway,) Roberto Luongo.  Skillz that killz spilling all over the place with these guys.  But unfortunately for them, the Stanley Cup is 10% luck, 20% skill, 99% concentrated power of will,  5% pleasure, 50% Canucks in ruins, 100% reason to remember the Bruins.  Because so far, even though the series is tied 2-2 and Vancouver still owns home ice advantage in this now best of 3 games series, the B’s are the better team, and their concentrated power of will is willing away the Canucks.

The martian twins and RoCHOKEo Luongo arrived in Boston sitting on a lofty 2-0 lead.  But game one was won with 18 seconds left, game two on a fluke play in OT.  In terms of level of hockey play, this series was tied 1 a piece; the B’s matched every step the Canucks took.  Then the series arrived in the USA and the Canucks suffered a serious beating.  8-1 in game 3, 4-0 in game 4.  Chara and the D shutting down Vancouver’s potent power play, Thomas and his pads lights out.  On the other end, polar opposite Roberto Luongo getting pulled.  After these last few games, I am supremely confident in the Bruins.  No visible weaknesses–the offense is stepping up, role players are pulling more than their own weight, and Thomas is nothing short of spectacular.  No questions lingering.  Wait no that’s a lie.  I do have one question.  After all the raping the Bruins have dished out to punk bitch Alexandre Burrows, I’m left wondering what’s bigger:  the diameter of Burrow’s asshole, or the diameter of each of the five gaping holes in Lu’s goalie play?

It’s really a toss up at this point.  But one thing’s for sure: both diameter’s are massive, and Burrows deserves it.  In fact, the entire Canucks team deserves to continue to be trainwrecked at the hands of the Bruins.  The squad of dirty players just keeps pulling acts of egregious scumbaggery.  The biting and not receiving a suspension was one thing.  Just a little bloody finger.  Whatever.  Scumbag move, but nothing serious.  Then came the open ice hit on Nathan Horton.  Dirty Dirty hit.  I could have microwaved a bag of popcorn in the time between Horton releasing the puck and Aaron Rome delivering a cheapshot.  And then last night, as if he didn’t learn his lesson, Alexandre (who spells Alexander the wrong way,) Burrows whacks Tim Thomas’ stick.  Good thing Thomas showed that bitch who’s boss.  Because in the physical department, the Canucks can’t go head to head with the Bruins.  They’re trying to beat Boston with Boston’s game.  And I hope they keep trying.

Oh by the way the Sox have won 5 straight and are 5-0 in Yankee Stadium this year.  And lead the AL East and have the third best record in the bigs at 35-26 after that miserable 2-10 start (that’s 33-16 since, for those of you that can’t subtract.)  I guess that’s pretty cool too.