Posts Tagged ‘Green’

AARON RODGERS PUT DA TEAM ON HIS BACK.  24/39 for 304, 3 TD, 0 INT.  Now that’s what I call an MVP performance by a stud who’s going to stick around for a long time.  As miserable as these past three weeks have made my life, last night’s silver lining set me into natural high mode, stoked to see Aaron Rodgers and a deserving team bring the Lombardi trophy to its root organization.  The Packers textbookedly (I think I just made up a word) won the football game–they jumped out to an early lead, capitalized off Pittsburgh’s blunders, and made big plays when they needed them.  The 3rd and 10 Aaron Rodgers skinny post to Greg Jennings late in the 4th quarter that for all intents and purposes sealed the game served as a microcosm of two individual season story lines:  Gweg Jennins puttin da team on his back, and Aaron Rodgers excelling into extraterrestrial unconscious mode.  The Super Bowl overall earns a 9/10 for me.  (Last year was probably an 8/10, 9.5 for the Cards-Steelers, and a negative 900/10 for Feb 3, 2008, the date that never existed.  Not on my calender anyway.)

Congrats to the elite organization of the Pittsburgh Steelers for making it to yet another title game.  There’s no shame in losing to Aaron Rodgers.

Go Pack go, congratulations to the entire organization and Aaron Rodgers.


So long to another NFL season, perhaps the last for a few long years.  Glad it ended on a positive note.


Look at what Aaron Rodgers is rocking around his neck!  You know what it is!  Black and yellow Dre Beats!! Where can I get myself a pair?!  By the way, is every Packer-owned object composed at least partially of the color yellow?  The beats A-Rod and Greg Jennings (right behind the sex machine) are wearing, Rodgers’ yellow Nike swooshed backpack, and even Jennings’ camera has yellow accents (a black and yellow camera, of course.)

I can also deduce two facts from the button on Rodgers’ suit:

1.  Aaron Rodgers knows his suit code.  See how the top button is buttoned and the bottom one is left unbuttoned?  On a two button suit, you never button the bottom button.  It’s just suit code.  Aaron Rodgers knows his suit code.

2.  Rodgers had been listening to tunes before he buttoned the suit.  See how the wire runs underneath the button?  Just something I noticed.


Anyway, I leave you with these two Packer bits:

I got this shirt and you should get it too!  Visit


and numero dos, you know what it is:


Big ups to my dawg George for introducing me to awesome blog topics

What the balls?!?!?!

Posted: January 28, 2011 in sports
Tags: , , , , , ,

I just learned that the Packers have not trailed by more than 7 points at any time this season.  You’re telling me they lost six games this season, and at no point were they two possessions away from tying or taking the lead?  Aaron Rodgers could have tied the game with one drive every time the Packers were losing?  Yup.  Super Bowl lock.  Just give ’em the belts now and get it over with.  But while we wait… more Rodgers faces!!!!  YAY!

Look at my hands.  They’re saying, “Was that a serious f*cking question?  You must be joking right?”  Oh man, reporters are sofa king stupid.


Still thinking of a caption… I got nothin’.



I know I’m being photographed right now… so I’m gonna give that half smirk half focus look… and I’m purposely not going to look at the camera.  You all know what I’m talking about.


Because a photograph cannot play audio, I will let my facial expression tell the viewer I am screaming “OHHHH YEAHHHHHHHHHHHH.”


Check it out, I’m Batman.

I swear, Aaron Rodgers knows when photographers are taking pictures of him.

A tweet from Stephen Colbert: “Congratulations to the Packers and the Steelers! You’re both a credit to the defunct industries that are your namesakes.”

Nothing like a nice chuckle to kick off the two weeks preceding the Super Bowl.

What a match up, right?  Obviously 2010-11’s clear cut best NFL team failed to advance anywhere in the playoffs, which permanently stole a chunk of my heart, but if the team-that-shall-not-be-named (because I’m still wallowing in my own sulking moping pity, and can not yet stand the sight of the team) had to miss the big dance, I’d want the Steelers or the Colts to rep the AFC all day.  Why?  Because they’re winners, and nothing pleases me more than seeing  winners win and failures fail, at least for extended stretches of time until new eras arrive.  But while Peyton Manning leads Indy, Big Ben extends plays and Dick LeBeau coordinates in Pittsburgh, and you know who coaches the you know who quarterbacked you know whos, these three model franchises should continue to win.  So as far as I’m concerned, the AFC Championship was either going to be a total trainwreck because a non-elite team would represent the AFC or it was going to be a slim silver lining in a disastrous and ultimately failing 2010-11 campaign (for me at least.)  Luckily, the game turned out the right way, and Big Ben worked his magic and raped the Jets on 3rd down, earning a chance at his third Super Bowl ring.  Yeah.  3rd.  Two more than Peyton, just as many as that other dude that has freakishly good looking smooth flowing hair, and enough to probably earn him a Hall of Fame spot.

It wasn’t dumb luck that caused Roethlisberger to mark a 15-1 record in his rookie year in 2004 and miss the Super Bowl by one game (you know who beat ’em,) to actually win one the following year, and to play for another before the age of 30.  Sure the dude is pretty silly when it comes to protecting his dome while riding his motorcycles, but Ben Roell-out-play-extend-isberger has quietly composed an all-time-great-talk worthy resume over the past eight years.  Yes the Dick LeBeau-led Steel defense deserves a ton of credit for the team’s success, but you can’t argue that Ben does not deserve all-time talk unless you also put the Golden Boy #12 in the same boat.  Both quarterbacks won multiple rings early in their careers with tremendous assistance from their defenses, so if you considered Goldilocks a hall of famer pre-2007, you must consider Roethlisberger one too.  He’s accomplished this with an unconvential play extending backyard football method, but he has reached the top nonetheless.  Because the NFL rapidly changes, we sadly have to drop Brees (at least momentarily) from the top tier quarterback level (consisting of Manning and the guy who I’ve run out of alternative names for,) and elevate Big Ben into this category (We can also bump Phil Rivers down to the chum bucket for missing the playoffs on a supposedly stacked team, and because I detest his guts.)  And while it should be obvious that Roethlisberger plays at a top tier caliber, it’s even more obvious that we must include in the “best” talks, this guy:

Gimme that belt, baby!

I’ve been all over Aaron Rodgers’ just-below-belt-region for quite some time (I swear, I’m straight, but this is Aaron F*cking Rodgers were talking about here,) and now that he’s blossoming into an unstoppable force en route to his first Lombardi Trophy, (either with his arm, legs, or swagga, yo,) he earns superstar status and well justified one o’ da most bestest quatabacks in da leeeeeaaague debate.  I didn’t get a chance to write about his phenomenal performance against the Falcons IN ATLANTA, but holy smokes good god hot damn he’s f**king unreal.  Remember earlier how I mentioned that winners should win until a new era dawns?  Well this is a new era dawning.  The Golden Boy-Manning era is sadly coming to a close; lets be real here, the guy who owns the ACL that Bernard Pollard tore is 33 years old, Manning is 34.  Those two supermen aren’t exactly in their youth.  Meanwhile, the flourishing Mr. Cool Aaron Rodgers is just 27 and has a long storied career ahead of him, and I see multiple rings on his fist when it’s all said and done (by the way, Big Ben is just 28,  I think the #12-#18 debate of the 2000’s could easily become a Rodgers-Roethlisberger debate of the 2010’s.)  What we’ve witnessed these past few years serves only as a teaser of what we will, barring severe injury, see this coming decade.  Remember, before 2007, the 50TD man did not possess the pure quarterbacking ability he does now.  Rodgers will only improve, his stats will only inflate, and his hands will only grow heavy with huge rock rings.  However, my boy Aaron Cool did not put up stellar numbers Sunday vs. the Bears–he had an off day, but his team bailed him out.

One of the top 4 quarterbacks in the league can throw for 0 TD and 2 INT and the team can win a league championship?  Holy sh*t, the Packers are good.  I knew all season that their 10-6 record and 6 seed did not reflect their true completeness as a team, but I thought if Aaron Rodgers was going down, the team was coming with him.  Sh*t, they proved me wrong.  Yeah sure, Chicago didn’t have their starting QB for much of the game, but c’mon, how much of an improvement is Jay Cutler over that other dude?  He’d probably throw more picks, and that other dude just about threw two interceptions per dropback.  As far as I’m concerned, the Packers are taking the Super Bowl.  My prediction?  28-24, Rodgers gets his belt.

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Leave comments, what do you guys think?  Am I right about RoethlisRodgers?  Is there another QB I left out (don’t say Phil Rivers, he will forever suck in my book.)

I feel like Sideswipe after he kills this Audi (except that would never happen in real life cause Audis kick ass.)

At the end he says “Damn, I’m good.”  That’s how I feel, because in the time of my blog’s short existence, I have already sniped a few (obvious as they may be) calls:

1. “As bad as the players looked on Sunday, what was even worse for the Jets is that Rex Ryan has been exposed.” –5 things I learned during week 14 of the NFL (minus the Ravens-Texans Monday night game)

Rex Ryan has now been exposed as a foot loving, game losing, swagger lacking, phony of a coach.  We probably should have known the Jets were going to lose to the bears though, because the Patriots obliterated Da Bears slightly less harshly than they obliterated the Jets.  Thus, Da Bears are slightly better than the Jets, which isn’t saying much.  Since the Patriots exposing Rex Ryan as not all that everyone hyped him to be, the Jets lost to the Dolphins at home, tried to trip a player, and Ryan’s foot obsession has surfaced.  Ouch.

2. “Aaron Rodgers left the game with a concussion and they lost.  He is almost as important to the Packer’s offense as Peyton Manning is to the Colts’ offense.” -5 things I learned during week 14 of the NFL (minus the Ravens-Texans Monday night game)

Since Rodgers’ noggin slammed into the field, the Packers lost to the atrocious Lions and the Patriots.  Ok, maybe a bad day against Detroit, and New England beats everybody, so its understandable that Green Bay lost twice, right?  Think his absence doesn’t mean that much?  Think again.  As soon as he came  back, he threw for 400 yds and 4 tds 0 int, crushing the Giants 45-17.  And this wasn’t just a beatdown of some crappy team like the Panthers or 49ers or the Carson Palmers.  This game held serious playoff implications: if NYG won they essentially had the wild card locked up.

Related:  Aaron Rodgers not making the Pro Bowl is complete and utter mumbojumbo phony baloney horse sh*t nonsense.  I can understand Vick, but Brees and Matty Ice making it over Rodgers?  It’s only half bull that Brees made it over Rodgers even though Easy Breesy has thrown like four picks a game.  But Matty Ice?  Rodger’s passer rating is 3rd in the league, Ryan’s is 15th.  Rodger’s yards per attempt is 2nd in the league at 8.3, Ryan’s is 27th at 6.4.  Rodgers has more yards and more touchdowns despite missing time.  So what’s the argument here for Matt Ryan?  That he is on a a 1 seed team?  Guess what, Rodgers is going to make the playoffs as well, and when the Falcons and Packers squared off the Pack only lost by three IN ATLANTA.  Even if all of this didn’t matter, Aaron Rodgers still should have made the Pro Bowl just by default of Aaron Rodgers being the f**king man.  I love saying his name if you haven’t noticed.  Just look at how cool Aaron Rodgers looks.  Aaron Rodgers is so godamn cool.  Aaron Rodgers!!!!

He looks like that guy that is secretly smarter than everyone and acts witty and says the funniest sh*t.

Sidenote relating to the Giants because I briefly talked about them and feel like I won’t have a chance of mentioning this until September 2012 if there is a lockout:  I heard the funniest joke from my friend Paul:

Why can’t Eli Manning play primetime games?

Because like his Citizen Eco Drive, he’s powered by light.

3. “a big date with the first-place Falcons in Atlanta (where Matty Ice Ryan is 18-1 in his career) looms just two weeks away.  The way they’re playing, the Saints definitely have the assets to win.  While I can afford to look two weeks ahead into week 16, New Orleans can’t.  They must focus on their big meeting with the defensively-proficient 8-4 (probably 9-4 after Monday Night’s game) Ravens next week” -5 things I learned during week 14 of the NFL (minus the Ravens-Texans Monday night game)

Wow!  How many birds did I kill with this stone?  I think my snipe/sentences written ratio based off this is an exceptional 1.00.  Ok, so the Ravens beating the Texans was a gimme.  But gimme credit for telling the Saint-haters that they could go into ATL and win.  And that they couldn’t afford to look to far ahead, because they did, and lost to the Ravens, and now their chances of a 1 seed are all but dead.

4. “The Colts said F U to everyone who thought the Jags were going to win the AFC South.  They said to all the doubters and  haterade sippers, “Did you really think the Indy Colts were going to miss the playoffs?  The PLAYoffs, you kiddin’ me?  Playoffs? Don’t  talk about [missing the] playoffs!”” -You know what looked really really really strange?

Well well, the Colts beat the Jags, then they beat the Raiders, while the Jags lose to the Redskins.  The Redskins.  Real Native Americans could play better than the Redskins.  And the Jags lost to them.  For everyone that thought the Colts would not win the AFC South, you’re a fool.

Sidenote:  the post I pulled the quote from was titled “You know what looked really really really strange?”  Well, you know what looked even more strange?

So smart for sliding.  So damn smart.  Winners.

5. “The Packers delivered this reminder at the perfect time.  BB and Tom Brady will practice the s**t out of the team this week, eager to storm into Buffalo and make burgers out of the Bills.”

I’m pretty sure I saw Rob Gronkowski eating some buffalo burger last week.  Nope, wait, I DEFINITELY did.

So there it is, my young blog’s ability to get it right.  Did I purposely look for things that I called right?  Yup.  Did I get things wrong (like the Chiefs being in for a ride down the stretch, cause they weren’t?)  Yup.  Were most of these topics blatantly obvious?  Yup.  Am I just trying to promote myself?  Yup.  Are you probably sitting there thinking “this dude thinks he sniped all this but so did everyone else?”  Yup.  But damn, I’m good.


I was pissed last night.  Pissed that the Patriots weren’t pummeling the Aaron Rodgers-less Packers by at least 21 points at the end of the first quarter.  Pissed that they went into the locker rooms at half without the lead.  Pissed that we only won by four points.  Yeah, I was pissed that we beat a very good playoff team.  Because the margin of victory was slim.  Am I an a**hole for for being angry that the Patriots barely beat the Packers when fans of the Panthers or Bills or Bengals would celebrate such a victory like it was a holiday?  Probably.  But guess what.  I’m from New England, and all we do is win, win, win, no matter what.  I expected a 28 point victory last night.  No joke.  Four touchdowns.  I expected Tom Brady to throw for 300+ yards and 3+ touchdowns, and I expected first time starter Matt Flynn to throw for less than 150 yards and at least 3 INT.  Give credit to the Packers, because none of that happened.  They gave it their all, and if Rodgers’ noggin was good to go, they probably would ended Brady’s four-year regular season home win streak.  I wasn’t the only one who was pissed last night.  Belichick and Brady were too.  Look out NFL, because you know what happens when BB and Tom are pissed, this:

You know what happens after this happens?  The Patriots fire up their afterburners and become more unstoppable than that train movie with Denzel and the main character from Star Trek.  The Pats tear apart their opponent, then maybe let them score a field goal, only so they have an excuse to drop 20 more points.  Sunday’s near loss surprised all of New England and served as a rude awakening for the Patriots.  Like the ’07 games against the Eagles and the Ravens, Sunday brought the superhuman Pats back to Earth.  Would I have liked to see a 40 point victory instead of a four point victory?  Of course.  But what this game brought to New England besides the W was a reminder that you can’t steamroll ’em all; you can’t afford to be sloppy against playoff caliber teams.

The Packers delivered this reminder at the perfect time.  BB and Tom Brady will practice the s**t out of the team this week, eager to storm into Buffalo and make burgers out of the Bills.  I’ll be at the next game after that, against the Dolphins, and I can’t wait to see the killa B’s (BB and Brady) put Dolphins on the endangered species list.  Here is my professional artist’s rendition of it:

The most recent case of lackluster Pats’ play prior to Sunday came against the Browns in a 34-14 defeat.  Take a wild guess at what happened over the next five games.  New England scored 39, 31, 45, 45, and 36 points in five obliterations of opponents, four of them coming against likely playoff teams.  Sunday was a similar situation (except we managed to get a win.)  The last time, five games of domination ensued.  You know what happens after five games this time around?  This:

1. The Patriots are the best team in the NFL

By a mile.  I know, we probably already knew this after the 45-3 romping of the Jets on Monday night.  But Sunday’s 36-7 annihilation of the Bears in a way showed more about the Patriots than the Jets game.  We all knew the Patriots were gonna come ready to play against the Jets–Bill Belichick had 11 days to prepare for a nationally televised Monday night showdown between two division rival juggernauts.  There was no way the Pats would be lax for that one.  But would they show up for the Bears?  Just six days after the biggest victory of the season, this young Pats team riding on high emotions had to play in blizzard conditions in Chicago. Seemed like a classic letdown game to me.  But, in Bill we trust.  Belichick had his boys well prepared and proved all the skeptics wrong.  The Pats rolled into the windy city and blew the competition away, thrashing the Bears in a dominating fashion.  The improving young defense looked like seasoned veterans, intercepting Jay Cutler twice and forcing two fumbles, one of which was recovered for a touchdown.  Devin McCourty once again justified the Patriots taking him in the first round, forcing one of the fumbles.  The guy just continues to make big plays.  The defense played exceptionally and once again, Tom Brady and the offense soared, against the NFL’s third ranked defense nonetheless.  Brady completed 27 of 40 passes for 369 yards and two touchdowns, while Deion Branch and Wes Welker each grabbed eight passes and topped the hundred-yard mark.  The league may as well just hand Brady the MVP award now, not only because a 7-plus to 1 touchdown to interception ratio and a 110+ passer rating are absurdly good, but because he is leading his team to another Superbowl title physically and emotionally.  Brady’s the hottest player in the NFL right now in every way: scorching defenses on the field, fire in his eyes, and it doesn’t hurt that his hair is extra extra hot.  It looks like the Pats have a lock on winning the AFC.  They also have a nice two game cushion on the Jets in the AFC East after Sunday, which leads me to number 2…

2. The Jets are not who we thought they were

Well actually, they kinda are who I thought they were.  But only kinda.  I knew they weren’t as good as their 9-2 record coming into last week, pulling helmet-catch caliber luck out of their behinds to beat Denver, Detroit, Cleveland, and Houston.  I knew they could have easily been 5-6 facing the Pats on Monday, but I at least had faith in them to rebound after the second worst Monday Night Football defeat to beat the mediocre Dolphins at home.  I mean, Mark Sanchez is growing up right?  The running game is one of the best in the NFL, right?  Rex Ryan is a pretty good coach right?  Wrong.  Every part of the Jets’ game was flat on Sunday as they lost 10-6 to the Dolphins.  Sanchez looked like a rookie again with no sense of ball placement whatsoever, his throws were all over the place.  Meanwhile, the ground game was horrific, averaging just 2.8 yards per carry.  As bad as the players looked on Sunday, what was even worse for the Jets is that Rex Ryan has been exposed.  He and the Jets are built around swagger and confidence, and in the past two weeks their swagger level has gone from Mark Wahlberg in Shooter to Michael Cera in Superbad.  What happened, did someone steal all of their Old Spice deodorant or something?  The Jets need to get their act together, or they’re gonna have a tough road leading into the playoffs, if they even make the playoffs.  Which leads me to…

3. The Packers might not make the playoffs!!!!

As of right now, Green Bay is on the outside looking in.  I expected them to even things up with the Bears in the NFC North Sunday with an easy victory over the 2-10 Lions, but the worst thing that could have happened for them did:  Aaron Rodgers left the game with a concussion and they lost.  He is almost as important to the Packer’s offense as Peyton Manning is to the Colts’ offense.  Green Bay can’t run the ball anyway, they are about as good at it as Brett Favre is at staying out of the news, and without Rodgers this normally high-powered aerial attack is flat out pathetic.  How can Greg Jennings put the team on his back if he doesn’t even have a quarterback to throw him the ball?  What used to be a one-dimensional offense is now one-detrimental to their playoff chances.  Okay, enough with the jokes, because the road ahead is certainly not a joke for the Packers.  They take on New England in Foxboro (where Tom Brady hasn’t lost since 2006) next week, meaning they could very realistically be 8-6 heading into week 16.  They better catch the Bears, because 10-6 will not guarantee a wild-card spot.  Speaking of not having a guaranteed playoff berth…

4. The Chiefs are in for a ride

After laying a big ol’ goose egg in a 31-0 slaughter at hands of San Diego, the Kansas City Chiefs hold just a one game lead over the 7-6 Chargers.  Everyone knows San Diego is dangerous late in the season—the Chargers increase their lethality by 100,000 volts every December.  As much as I hate to say it, Phil Rivers plays phantastic phootball in December.  Sidenote: Hey Phil, win a ring and your cockiness might be justified.  But until then, I have hoisted as many Lombardi Trophies as you.  Hell, lets not even mention winning a Superbowl.  I’ve played in as many as you!  Anway, running the table is certainly doable for Kansas City with remaining games against St. Louis, Tennessee, and Oakland, but the Chiefs better indeed run the table or else San Diego will likely be the AFC West team hosting a playoff on wild-card weekend. Luckily for the Chiefs, Matt Cassel can only get appendicitis one time, so he’ll hopefully be ready next week.  And the Chiefs need him to be ready.  He’s playing underratedly well this season, tossing 23 touchdowns to just four interceptions.  Him and Dwayne Bowe are flying under the radar as one of the best passing duos in the league right now.  Hey, you know who else is flying under the radar?

5. The New Orleans Saints are playing championship football.  Again.

Since opening the season with a Superbowl hangover, Drew Brees and the Saints offense have restored themselves as one of the best in the league.  Overshadowed by a new Brett Favre injury headline every week, the Saints have quietly won six straight games.  Okay, fine, Brett Favre’s paper cuts aren’t the only things grabbing headlines.  Him taking questionable photos of his body parts and sending them to Jenn Sterger made the news too.  I guess if I mention Favre in an affair though, I have to mention that Big Ben was also a big headline.  Okay, fiiiiine. The biggest (and best) headline of the season is that the Pats are back baby!  But lets talk New Orleans again.  Several well thrown TD passes against the not-that-bad Rams from Brees have upped the Saints’ win total into double digits, as a big date with the first-place Falcons in Atlanta (where Matty Ice Ryan is 18-1 in his career) looms just two weeks away.  The way they’re playing, the Saints definitely have the assets to win.  While I can afford to look two weeks ahead into week 16, New Orleans can’t.  They must focus on their big meeting with the defensively-proficient 8-4 (probably 9-4 after Monday Night’s game) Ravens next week that will truly show if their offense is as good as I think it is.   It doesn’t get easy after the Atlanta game either—the Saints have to play pesky 8-5 Tampa Bay in the final week of the season.  But the Saints are champions, and I trust them to finish strong.