Posts Tagged ‘sports’

New York is so unique right now.  Unique in that no other city is enduring a couple of the most horrific sports weeks in recent memory, while Boston sports teams are flourishing.  And I’m lovin’ every bit of it.  Lets take a closer look at the past few weeks:


New York

  • Rex Ryan talks trash (big surprise there)
  • The Jets fail to score a touchdown as the Patriots steamroll them 45-3
  • The following week, the Jets show they are no more than an average football team by once again failing to score a touchdown in a defeat against the Dolphins, in New York
  • The Jets resort to dangerous cheating, as strength coach Sal Alosi instructs 5 players to stand in a wall as he tries to trip Nolan Carroll.  He receives an indefinite suspension
  • Giants’ WR Steve Smith undergoes knee surgery, out for season


  • Bill Belichick makes a joke out of Rex Ryan’s trash talking
  • The Patriots do not allow the Jets a touchdown, as they steamroll Gang Green 45-3
  • The following week, the Patriots show they are no less than the best team in the NFl, by once again smoking an opponent in a 36-7 Bear-killing, in Chicago, in blizzard-like conditions
  • The Patriots resort to stomping opponents with passing, rushing, defense, and special teams.  All Patriots staff and players are eligible to participate in week 15.
  • All Patriots WRs stay healthy

I won’t rip on Steve Smith’s injury, because us Boston fans know all about season ending knee injuries.  I’m of course talking about Tony Allen attempting to dunk well after the whistle blew and landing on his knee awkwardly, tearing his ACL and MCL, literally adding insult to injury during an already atrocious season that ended 24-58.

Obviously, I was referring to this and this only.  Nobody else.

But I am going to rip on the Jets… and ohhhh boy do I love ripping on the Jets.  If Katy Perry rewrote “Hot N Cold,” she would include a line about the Pats and Jets somewhere.   I can’t remember a time when the Jets sucked so much and the Patriots were so awesome.  No wait, actually I can: 2001-2009.  This time it’s different though, because Rex Ryan fooled so many people into thinking the Jets were an elite team.  All of his talk convinced America that barely scraping by piss poor teams was the Jets playing “resilient” and “tough” football.  The Jets phonied their ways to the tops of experts’ power rankings and tricked themselves into thinking they were legitimately an elite 9-2 team coming into Foxboro.  During the Monday night game against the Pats, either after the Patriots’ 10th touchdown or Mark Sanchez’s 51st interception (I can’t remember which one), I took a picture of this Jets fan:

My brother took this picture of Rex Ryan after the game.  Almost identical, no?  The only difference I can see is Rex Ryan weighs about 400lbs more than the Jets fan.

For me, watching a Jets fan in a state of severe shock because they foolishly believed their team stood a chance against the Patriots is much more satisfying than seeing their usual face when they play us.  Because the Jets’ record normally truthfully reflects their actual ability to play well, disloyal New York fans usually don’t care and look like this during the NFL season:

Since Jets fans regularly expect the annual two tallies in the L column thanks to the Patriots, it becomes a rarity for us New England fans to see what I so brilliantly captured.  Thus, when we become lucky enough to witness this abnormality, our football fanhood is wonderfully satisfied.

Week 13’s annihilation seemed as good as it gets, until the Jet’s lost at home to Dolphins in week 14.  In a short span of six days, the Jets tumbled from first in the division to playoff berth in jeopardy.  There isn’t much to talk about how poorly they played against Miami; their execution was straight up pathetic tp the point where the only successful task they managed to achieve on this glorious Sunday was Sal Alosi tripping a Dolphin.  Give him credit, guys.  Can you trip a dolphin?  Have you ever even tried tripping a dolphin?  Have you even seen a dolphin?  Alosi tripped that which can not walk.  Pretty amazing if you ask me.  Jokes aside, is this what Rex Ryan preaches after 45-3 defeats?  Is this his definition of rebounding and proving they are for real?  The only for real I have for them is, fo’ real, Rex?  Seriously?  Tripping players is your way of winning against a mediocre football team?  When was the last time anyone saw a championship caliber club commit the stupidest action imaginable?  Doesn’t Sal Alosi know at any given point during an NFL game, at least 14 camera men are filming you?  The organization is in shambles right now.  Luckily, I’ve never been unfortunate enough to catch the crappy disease, but can a New York sports fan tell me if it’s contagious?  Because I think it’s spreading to…


New York

  • Knicks have an eight game winning streak before hosting the Celtics
  • Knicks have a one game losing streak after hosting the Celtics


  • Celtics have a ten game winning streak before playing the Knicks
  • Celtics have an eleven game winning streak after playing the Knicks

Good for the Knicks.  Seriously.  I’m happy that they’re playing well this year, because it’s getting boring to see the Celtics win with ease.  But Wednesday’s game against Boston served as another slice of comic relief for me during finals week here at BU.  Paul Pierce’s game winning shot with 0.4 seconds remaining is fairly soul-crushing as it is for New York fans, but A’mare? Am’are? Ama’re?  Amar’e?  Yeah, I think that’s where the apostrophe goes.  Anyway, as disheartening as it was for Knicks fans to have Pauly P drain a winning bucket, Amar’e Stoudemire just had to sink a game winning three.  Psych! The ball left his hands after the buzzer sounded!  Haha!  Suckers! All of you fans at Madison Square Garden jumped out of your seats for nothing!  As BC fans say to me, sucks to BU!!!!  (It actually doesn’t suck to BU, because our school is actually in Boston.  I can walk to the Prudential Center or Fenway in ten minutes.  “Boston” College is in Newton.)


New York

  • Yankees fail to sign Cliff Lee, who signs with the Phillies for $30M less
  • Yankees suck
  • Mets do not make any moves, they continue to be garbage


  • Red Sox trade for Adrian Gonzalez
  • Red Sox are f**king awesome
  • Red Sox sign Carl Crawford

I love Cliff Lee.  Always have, and now always will.  Mooching a few free meals and time from the Yankees and making Brian Cashman look like a bumbling idiot of a sucker boosts Cliff Lee near the middle of my “Most Awesome Athletes Power Rankings.”  The middle is actually quite good, because nobody comes within 100 feet of Tom Brady in my book.  Plus, Lee is by far the flashiest player in the MLB.  Remember that video I posted a in my last entry?  Well here it is again, because I can’t stop drooling over his calmness during the World Series. (I can’t embed it.)  Anyway, the Yankees offered him a 7 year $150M contract, but he told Cashman F U and returned to the Phils for 5 years and $120M.  Suck it Yankees, money bought you jack diddly squat this offseason, and you will eternally suck.  Have fun finishing second to the Red Sox this year in the AL East.  Wait, third.  I keep forgetting the Rays are pretty good.

Do I even have to talk about the Mets?  Should I feel some pity for how terrible they are?  Nah.

All in all, its been a rough (but deserved in my eyes by default of me being a Boston native) few weeks for scumbag New York fans.  So rough that it consumed all my time and I barely said a word about how awesome Boston sports teams are doing.  But I talk enough about that already, and it’s expected.  Hope times like these continue!

What do you guys think?  Leave comments please!  Subscribe on the left sidebar of the web page!  Don’t forget to show this to all of your buddies!

I’d take the over.  Because the forecast here in Boston is championships with a 51% chance of more championships.  Lets be real here, the Patriots are the best team in the NFL, the Celtics are the best team in the NBA, and if it wasn’t for this guy: the Red Sox would be the best team in the MLB.  Give credit to the Bruins too.  Although Pittsburgh is so hot right now that all Penguins are in danger of going extinct by 2012, the Bruins (especially Tim Thomas) are playing great puck and are a contender for sure.

The Pats are just about a lock for the Super Bowl, and I think they have at least a 450% chance to bring a Lombardi Trophy back to Boston.  The only team in the NFL that scares me as a New England fan right now is the New Orleans Saints.  And not even the Saints.  Just Drew Brees.  But the Patriots young defense keeps improving, so I don’t know if I’ll even still be afraid of Mr. Brees come playoff time.  So if the Pats are a deadlock to win the Super Bowl, only one other Boston team would need to win for the over.

It looks like this years NBA finals matchup will once again be Celtics-Lakers, because the Heat turn cold when they face good teams that can play defense.  And because Rajon Rondo is more bananas than a monkey’s lifetime diet.  The dude has more dimes than the Victoria’s Secret fashion show.  When the Celtics inevitably play the Lakers in the Finals, this time around, lets all hope the absurdly unfair NBA refs don’t call the Celtics for 17 fouls in the 4th quarter of game 7.  But we all know that NBA refs are always favoring international superstar Kobe, so I’ll give the Celtics just a 49% chance of winning the Finals.  And for the sake of more writing.  So by my illogical logic, Boston is at 1.49 championships right now.

After Theo Epstein bolstered the Sox lineup with slugger Adrian Gonzalez and Carl Craw-FordGT, I expect the Red Sox runs per game to hover around 24.5 for the season.  I have no doubts about the Sox being the best team in the AL, but the Phillies scare me–their World Series MVP from 2008 is now their third starter.  The Phillies are the WS favorites, but as much as they scare me, I think the Red Sox are a close second.  The only troubling aspect of the Red Sox is the bullpen because closer Jonathan Papelbon can no longer close a game anymore.  His intimidating glare that used to strike fear into opposing hitters now just makes him look like he’s sucking a tiny D.

If it’s a Sox-Phils World Series, I think the Sox will be underdogs with a 41% chance of winning.  So, by my terrible logic, Beantown is now up to 1.9 championships.

I am no hockey expert, but I know two things:

1. Sidney Crosby is the only thing Canada can do better than the USA, and the Penguins are going to win the Stanley Cup.  99% of my reasoning for this is because they are by far my favorite team to use in NHL 11 the video game.  Feel free to challenge me by the way.  I’ll take you down.  I play on XBox.

2. For the sake of my argument, I’ll give the Bruins a 10% chance of winning a title, upping the best city in the world to 2.0 titles.  So, all in all, it looks like Boston will be racking up two total championships this year.  I have no idea how my logic works, but two championships sounds pretty realistic, right?

Wait no, make it three, because either BU or BC is going to win the NCAA men’s hockey title.  GO TERRIERS!!!!!!!!!!!

Let me know what you guys think, please leave some comments and voice your own opinion.

1. The Patriots are the best team in the NFL

By a mile.  I know, we probably already knew this after the 45-3 romping of the Jets on Monday night.  But Sunday’s 36-7 annihilation of the Bears in a way showed more about the Patriots than the Jets game.  We all knew the Patriots were gonna come ready to play against the Jets–Bill Belichick had 11 days to prepare for a nationally televised Monday night showdown between two division rival juggernauts.  There was no way the Pats would be lax for that one.  But would they show up for the Bears?  Just six days after the biggest victory of the season, this young Pats team riding on high emotions had to play in blizzard conditions in Chicago. Seemed like a classic letdown game to me.  But, in Bill we trust.  Belichick had his boys well prepared and proved all the skeptics wrong.  The Pats rolled into the windy city and blew the competition away, thrashing the Bears in a dominating fashion.  The improving young defense looked like seasoned veterans, intercepting Jay Cutler twice and forcing two fumbles, one of which was recovered for a touchdown.  Devin McCourty once again justified the Patriots taking him in the first round, forcing one of the fumbles.  The guy just continues to make big plays.  The defense played exceptionally and once again, Tom Brady and the offense soared, against the NFL’s third ranked defense nonetheless.  Brady completed 27 of 40 passes for 369 yards and two touchdowns, while Deion Branch and Wes Welker each grabbed eight passes and topped the hundred-yard mark.  The league may as well just hand Brady the MVP award now, not only because a 7-plus to 1 touchdown to interception ratio and a 110+ passer rating are absurdly good, but because he is leading his team to another Superbowl title physically and emotionally.  Brady’s the hottest player in the NFL right now in every way: scorching defenses on the field, fire in his eyes, and it doesn’t hurt that his hair is extra extra hot.  It looks like the Pats have a lock on winning the AFC.  They also have a nice two game cushion on the Jets in the AFC East after Sunday, which leads me to number 2…

2. The Jets are not who we thought they were

Well actually, they kinda are who I thought they were.  But only kinda.  I knew they weren’t as good as their 9-2 record coming into last week, pulling helmet-catch caliber luck out of their behinds to beat Denver, Detroit, Cleveland, and Houston.  I knew they could have easily been 5-6 facing the Pats on Monday, but I at least had faith in them to rebound after the second worst Monday Night Football defeat to beat the mediocre Dolphins at home.  I mean, Mark Sanchez is growing up right?  The running game is one of the best in the NFL, right?  Rex Ryan is a pretty good coach right?  Wrong.  Every part of the Jets’ game was flat on Sunday as they lost 10-6 to the Dolphins.  Sanchez looked like a rookie again with no sense of ball placement whatsoever, his throws were all over the place.  Meanwhile, the ground game was horrific, averaging just 2.8 yards per carry.  As bad as the players looked on Sunday, what was even worse for the Jets is that Rex Ryan has been exposed.  He and the Jets are built around swagger and confidence, and in the past two weeks their swagger level has gone from Mark Wahlberg in Shooter to Michael Cera in Superbad.  What happened, did someone steal all of their Old Spice deodorant or something?  The Jets need to get their act together, or they’re gonna have a tough road leading into the playoffs, if they even make the playoffs.  Which leads me to…

3. The Packers might not make the playoffs!!!!

As of right now, Green Bay is on the outside looking in.  I expected them to even things up with the Bears in the NFC North Sunday with an easy victory over the 2-10 Lions, but the worst thing that could have happened for them did:  Aaron Rodgers left the game with a concussion and they lost.  He is almost as important to the Packer’s offense as Peyton Manning is to the Colts’ offense.  Green Bay can’t run the ball anyway, they are about as good at it as Brett Favre is at staying out of the news, and without Rodgers this normally high-powered aerial attack is flat out pathetic.  How can Greg Jennings put the team on his back if he doesn’t even have a quarterback to throw him the ball?  What used to be a one-dimensional offense is now one-detrimental to their playoff chances.  Okay, enough with the jokes, because the road ahead is certainly not a joke for the Packers.  They take on New England in Foxboro (where Tom Brady hasn’t lost since 2006) next week, meaning they could very realistically be 8-6 heading into week 16.  They better catch the Bears, because 10-6 will not guarantee a wild-card spot.  Speaking of not having a guaranteed playoff berth…

4. The Chiefs are in for a ride

After laying a big ol’ goose egg in a 31-0 slaughter at hands of San Diego, the Kansas City Chiefs hold just a one game lead over the 7-6 Chargers.  Everyone knows San Diego is dangerous late in the season—the Chargers increase their lethality by 100,000 volts every December.  As much as I hate to say it, Phil Rivers plays phantastic phootball in December.  Sidenote: Hey Phil, win a ring and your cockiness might be justified.  But until then, I have hoisted as many Lombardi Trophies as you.  Hell, lets not even mention winning a Superbowl.  I’ve played in as many as you!  Anway, running the table is certainly doable for Kansas City with remaining games against St. Louis, Tennessee, and Oakland, but the Chiefs better indeed run the table or else San Diego will likely be the AFC West team hosting a playoff on wild-card weekend. Luckily for the Chiefs, Matt Cassel can only get appendicitis one time, so he’ll hopefully be ready next week.  And the Chiefs need him to be ready.  He’s playing underratedly well this season, tossing 23 touchdowns to just four interceptions.  Him and Dwayne Bowe are flying under the radar as one of the best passing duos in the league right now.  Hey, you know who else is flying under the radar?

5. The New Orleans Saints are playing championship football.  Again.

Since opening the season with a Superbowl hangover, Drew Brees and the Saints offense have restored themselves as one of the best in the league.  Overshadowed by a new Brett Favre injury headline every week, the Saints have quietly won six straight games.  Okay, fine, Brett Favre’s paper cuts aren’t the only things grabbing headlines.  Him taking questionable photos of his body parts and sending them to Jenn Sterger made the news too.  I guess if I mention Favre in an affair though, I have to mention that Big Ben was also a big headline.  Okay, fiiiiine. The biggest (and best) headline of the season is that the Pats are back baby!  But lets talk New Orleans again.  Several well thrown TD passes against the not-that-bad Rams from Brees have upped the Saints’ win total into double digits, as a big date with the first-place Falcons in Atlanta (where Matty Ice Ryan is 18-1 in his career) looms just two weeks away.  The way they’re playing, the Saints definitely have the assets to win.  While I can afford to look two weeks ahead into week 16, New Orleans can’t.  They must focus on their big meeting with the defensively-proficient 8-4 (probably 9-4 after Monday Night’s game) Ravens next week that will truly show if their offense is as good as I think it is.   It doesn’t get easy after the Atlanta game either—the Saints have to play pesky 8-5 Tampa Bay in the final week of the season.  But the Saints are champions, and I trust them to finish strong.